17 March 2022

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Tags: Educators, Parents, Students

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Categories: Reflections, Saints

O blessed Saint Joseph, how great was thy worth,
The one chosen shadow of God upon earth,
The father of Jesus, ah, then wilt thou be,
Sweet spouse of our Lady, a father to me?

– Fr Frederick William Faber, Dear Guardian of Mary

 

March is the Month of St Joseph, whose feast is celebrated on the 19th. As the protector of the Holy Family, he became a patron of the Universal Church, as proclaimed by Pope Pius IX on 8 December 1847. He is also a patron of the dying, as Jesus and Mary were at his deathbed, and we pray to him for a good and holy death. And of course, as the adoptive father of Jesus, St Joseph is the pre-eminent patron saint of fathers.

 

Image of God

Parents are their children’s primary educators. It is in the home, the domestic church, that we first learn how to be virtuous persons; ideally, our parents are the ones who introduce us to the knowledge and love of God, modelling how to serve Him through fitting worship, as well as charity to those around us.

Under the guardianship of St Joseph, the child Jesus “advanced in wisdom, and age, and grace with God and men” (Luke 2:52). We are made in the image and likeness of God, and we tend to relate to God the Father through our experience of fathers – biological or adoptive, and spiritual. As we live in a fallen world, we may have imperfect or absent fathers. Thankfully, our spiritual family in the Church can often provide mentors and friends to make up for our biological family’s weaknesses.

 

Identity & Purpose

Traditionally, before the Industrial Revolution, the home was also the primary unit of the economy and principal place of work. Children usually learned their parents’ trade, inheriting the family business when they came of age – hence surnames such as “Smith” for blacksmiths, goldsmiths or silversmiths, “Taylor” for tailors, “Knight”, “Baker” and so on. One was identified by one’s father’s occupation.

According to tradition, St Joseph was a carpenter. There are a variety of paintings on this theme, with St Joseph teaching Jesus his craft, juxtaposed as a harbinger of Christ’s death on the wooden cross with nails in His hands. Jesus is identified by his local community as “the carpenter’s son”. (Matthew 13:55) As humans, we generally find our identity and purpose in our relationships – within our families, schools, workplaces, and ultimately, God and His Church.

St Joseph is also a patron saint of workers, with the feast of St Joseph the Worker being celebrated on 1 May. If you need help discerning your vocation or finding employment, say a prayer to St Joseph for heavenly guidance.

Last year we celebrated the Year of St Joseph: as a Lenten devotion, you can complete the Consecration to St Joseph.

 

Prayer to St Joseph

O St Joseph, whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt before the throne of God, I place in you all my interests and desires. Oh, St Joseph, do assist me by your powerful intercession, and obtain for me from your divine Son all spiritual blessings, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. So that, having engaged here below your heavenly power, I may offer my thanksgiving and homage to the most loving of Fathers.

O St Joseph, I never weary of contemplating you, and Jesus asleep in your arms; I dare not approach while He reposes near your heart. Press Him in my name and kiss His fine head for me and ask him to return the Kiss when I draw my dying breath. St. Joseph, Patron of departing souls – pray for me.

3 March 2022

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Tags: Parents, Students

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Categories: Reflections, Saints

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle,
than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
– Mark 10:25; Matthew 19:24

Can a millionaire become a saint? Yes. God calls everyone to be a saint – it is probably more difficult for those who are attached to earthly things like wealth and prestige, but Katharine’s rich parents taught her to find her real treasure in the kingdom of Heaven.

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And even when he is old, he will not depart from it.
– Proverbs 22:6

 

Formation in Faith & Generosity

Born in Philadelphia on 26 November 1858 to the extremely wealthy investment banker Francis Anthony Drexel and his wife Hannah, Katharine lost her mother five weeks post-birth. Her aunt and uncle, Ellen and Anthony Joseph Drexel (founder of J.P. Morgan, originally Drexel, Morgan & Co.), cared for the baby – then named Catherine Mary – and her 3-year-old sister Elizabeth for two years alongside their own children, until Francis married a lady called Emma Mary Bouvier.

Catherine and Elizabeth, along with their new sister Louise, were taught as children to share their good fortune with those in need. Emma invited the poor into their home thrice a week, distributing food, clothing, shoes, medicine and rent assistance.

The Drexels paid the rent for 150 families every year, spending $30,000 per annum on their home-based charity. Many of the clothes they gave away were purchased from impoverished women living at the nearby Convent of the Good Shepherd, so the Drexels helped both the women who sewed the clothing and the families who received it.

Knowing that some widows and single women did not want to lose face in coming to them for assistance, the Drexels discreetly sought them out. Emma explained to her daughters: “Kindness may be unkind if it leaves a sting behind.”

The girls’ father spent at least half an hour in prayer every evening, quietly impressing the importance of faith upon his daughters. Their mansion had its own family chapel, with the Blessed Sacrament.

Believing that his daughters should learn about geography from travelling, instead of just maps and textbooks, Francis took his family on regular tours of the United States and Europe. Thus, the girls grew up aware of societal conditions throughout their homeland and beyond. They were also given the best education available by private tutors.

The patient and humble endurance of the cross,
whatever nature it may be, is the highest work we have to do.
St Katharine Drexel

 

 

Noticing the Need

Catherine made her debut into high society in 1878. However, as she cared for her stepmother, who died of cancer after a three-year struggle, Catherine realised that money was no safeguard against illness, suffering and death.

After Emma’s death in 1883, the Drexels travelled to the Western states of America, where Catherine noticed the penury of the Native Americans. Having read about the injustices they had suffered, she felt dreadful for them. She became acquainted with the Chief of the Sioux, Red Cloud. A friend of the family, Fr James O’Connor, was appointed the apostolic vicar of Nebraska, and often sought donations from the Drexels for his pastoral ministry to the Native Americans.

Catherine also observed the ill-treatment of African Americans living in the Southern states, and felt that more priests were needed to care for them as well as the Native Americans. After her father died in 1885, Catherine and her sisters sailed to Europe, where they made a pilgrimage to Rome.

Catherine obtained an audience with Pope Leo XIII and implored him for missionary priests to staff the Native American missions of which she and her sisters were benefactors. The Pope replied, “Why not my child, yourself become a missionary?”

This surprise suggestion suffused Catherine with fresh purpose. Though she had received several marriage proposals, she decided to take up the Pope’s challenge, after consulting her spiritual director, Bishop O’Connor.

Catherine entered the Sisters of Mercy convent as a postulant in May 1889. This sent shockwaves through the upper crust of Philadelphia, with the local paper trumpeting the headline: “Miss Drexel Enters a Catholic Convent—Gives Up Seven Million.”

Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor,
and you will have treasure in heaven.
Then come, follow Me.
– Mark 10:21

 

A Life of Service

On 12 February 1891, Catherine professed her first religious vows, taking the name “Mother Katharine”. Along with thirteen other women, Mother Katharine established the Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament. Besides the three evangelical vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, they took a fourth vow, to serve the Native Americans and African Americans.

Mother Katharine’s fellow missionary educator Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini, foundress of the Missionary Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus (later the first American citizen to be canonised), advised her on how to navigate the Vatican bureaucracy to have her new order’s rule approved.

While waiting for their convent to be built, the Sisters stayed in the Drexel summer holiday home. When work began on the new motherhouse in Pennsylvania, a stick of dynamite was planted nearby, indicative of the opposition Mother Katharine would face in her mission for social justice and equality. Not everyone recognised the face of God in those who looked different to themselves.

Undeterred, Mother Katharine forged ahead, founding 145 missions in 16 different states, 50 schools for African Americans, 12 schools for Native Americans, and the first Catholic college for African Americans, Xavier University of Louisiana. Her life of active service was born of her deep devotion and contemplation of the Blessed Sacrament.

All is vanity except knowing, loving and serving God.
This alone can bring peace to my soul.
St Katharine Drexel

 

Against All Odds

As with many works of God in this fallen world, Mother Katharine’s mission faced vicious opposition. In 1922, the Ku Klux Klan sent a threatening letter, stating that they would tar and feather the priest in one of the Sisters’ schools and bomb his Texan church.

Faced with this death threat, the Sisters prayed. It is recorded: “Days later, a tornado came and destroyed the headquarters of the KKK, killing two of their members. The Sisters were never threatened again.”

However, the Sisters still had to contend with racist government officials in Georgia, vandalism of Xavier University in New Orleans (someone smashed all the windows), destruction by arson of a school in Virginia, and segregation laws throughout the South.

Yet, they persisted cheerfully, and when Mother Katharine died at the age of 96 on 3 March 1955, having survived two World Wars and the Great Depression, there were over 500 Sisters serving throughout the USA. On 1 October 2000, she was the second American-born saint to be canonised, by Pope John Paul II. Today, the Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament continue their work. Sadly, Xavier University recently received a bomb threat – the Sisters’ mission is still essential.

 

A Family Affair

Mother Katharine’s beloved Uncle Tony also founded a tertiary institution, Drexel University. Her older sister Elizabeth died in childbirth along with her baby, but before her death she established St. Francis de Sales Industrial School for orphaned boys.

Their little sister Louise married the Republican congressman Edward de Veaux Morrell, and together they built St. Emma’s Agricultural and Industrial School, a boarding school for African American boys. Building on Elizabeth’s legacy, Louise also started a home, the Drexmoor, for young men who had graduated from St. Francis’ and started work in the city. She was an early supporter of the Catholic Interracial Movement.

How much good came into the world through a single family, blessed with a solid relationship with God that guided the stewardship of their material wealth for the common good, for those who needed it most. Their profound love for God and neighbour transformed the lives of generations across their nation.

If we wish to serve God and love our neighbour well,
we must manifest our joy in the service we render to Him and them.
Let us open wide our hearts. It is joy which invites us. Press forward and fear nothing.
– St Katharine Drexel

22 February 2022

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Tags: Educators, Parents, Students

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Categories: Reflections, Saints

Today’s feast celebrates the establishment of the Catholic (Universal) Church when Christ said to Simon Bar-Jonah: “You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18)

The feast of the Chair of Peter has been celebrated in Rome from the early days of Christianity on 18 January, in memory of the day St Peter first celebrated the Mass in Rome. On 22 February, we celebrate the feast of the Chair of Peter at Antioch, where he also founded an episcopal see. In Greek, chair is kathedra, which is why we have cathedrals, where our bishops sit and teach their flocks.

 

A New Family

The Chair of Peter correlates to the Chair of Moses (Matthew 23:2), the sign of teaching authority for the Jews of old. Today, we give thanks to God for the mission He entrusted to the Apostle Peter and his successors, the popes.

“Pope” comes from the word “Papa”, that is, Father – God founded a spiritual family in the Church, where we learn to live in loving community with our brothers and sisters in Christ. The Holy Father is the Vicar of Christ, acting as a general for the King’s army. In the early days, to become a pope was a death sentence: the first 33 popes were martyred.

 

A New Name

Simon, son of Jonah, was given a new name by Jesus along with his mission: Peter, meaning “Rock”. Jesus is the cornerstone (Acts 4:11) and rock of our faith; He is identified with the rock which accompanied the Israelites through the desert and, when cleft by Moses, provided living water (1 Corinthians 10:4). In giving the chief of the apostles his name, that is, his identity, Jesus was giving him a share in His earthly mission of salvation, which was to continue until the end of time.

 


Saint Peter’s Basilica, the apse, showing the Cathedra of St Peter supported by four Doctors of the Church, and the Glory, designed by Bernini.

 

Authority to Teach

Just as we have accredited teachers, who are trained to teach us about languages, sciences, mathematics, the arts and humanities, as well as physical education, home economics, design and technology and other skills, we have our clergy who go through many years of training to be our pastors (shepherds) and priests (who offer the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass for us).

As teachers guide us through textbooks and workbooks, explaining the content to us and bringing it to life, so do priests guide us through Holy Scripture, particularly during the Mass, where we have readings from the Old and New Testaments side by side, showing us the pattern of salvation history.

It is because the Church has her teaching authority from Christ that she was able to canonise the books of the Bible. In the early days, various churches had different lists of scriptural texts. Under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the Catholic Church decided which books were inspired by God and which were not, at the Council of Rome in AD 382, under the authority of Pope Damasus I. The same canon was reaffirmed at the Council of Hippo, Africa, in AD 393 at the Council of Carthage, AD 397; also at the ecumenical councils of Florence (1442), Trent (1546), Vatican I (1870), and Vatican II (1965).

When you quote the Bible as the Word of God, you accept the authority of the Catholic Church. Furthermore, the Archbishop of Canterbury Stephen Langton (1207-1228) painstakingly numbered all the verses of the Bible. Anytime we mention a Bible verse like “John 3:16”, we are taking advantage of his great labour of love.

 

One to One

Philip the Apostle met an Ethiopian eunuch who was reading the prophet Isaiah, who is now known to have prophesied Jesus’ suffering and death. Philip asked if he understood what he was reading, to which the eunuch responded: “How can I, unless some man show me?” So Philip sat beside him and taught him about Jesus, after which he requested baptism. (Acts 8:27-39)

Hundreds of years later, when missionaries arrived in the area where the eunuch had travelled – modern-day Sudan – they found that the locals, though lacking much knowledge of Christianity as they had no priests to preserve and transmit the faith, knew how to make the Sign of the Cross.

Today, we are blessed to have resources like The Bible in a Year podcast by Fr Mike Schmitz, or the Jeff Cavins Bible study podcast. Delve into these to unpack the riches of the Word of God!

 

Collect for the Feast of the Chair of Peter:

Oh, God, who, together with the power of the keys of the kingdom of heaven, didst bestow on blessed Peter Thy Apostle the pontificate of binding and loosing, grant that by the aid of his intercession we may be released from the yoke of our sins.

27 January 2022

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Tags: Educators, Parents, Students

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Categories: Reflections, Saints

Strive to be faithful to that which God has called you.

– St Angela Merici

 

Angela Merici was a lay Franciscan who founded the Company of St Ursula – named for the legendary princess and virgin martyr St Ursula, patroness of universities – in 1535, with the purpose of educating girls.

Born on a farm in 1474, Angela was orphaned when she was ten years old. She and her sister were taken in by an uncle. When her sister died suddenly without the last rites, Angela was very distressed. She was comforted by a vision of her sister in Heaven with a procession of angels and virgins, like Jacob’s Ladder (Genesis 28:12).

A Solemn Vow

The 15-year-old Angela became a Franciscan tertiary, a laywoman living by the spirituality of St Francis. She was very beautiful, and people often complimented her lustrous hair. To avoid the attention, she covered her locks in soot. She had vowed to dedicate herself completely to God as a consecrated lay virgin.

When she was twenty, her uncle died, and she returned to live with her brothers, on her own property which would have been her dowry had she chosen to marry. She received another vision, that she was to establish an association of virgins who would devote their lives to teaching young girls, ensuring they received the Catholic faith.

In obedience to God’s will, Angela gathered twelve young women in the city of Brescia and began her life’s work. These women made a commitment of their lives on 25 November 1535, the feast day of St Catherine of Alexandria, another early Christian virgin martyr. They were the very first teaching order of female religious sisters.

 

Sanctifying Society

Angela’s aim was to nourish and sanctify families through educating future wives and mothers in Christian virtue. She observed: “Disorder in society is the result of disorder in the family.”

Angela also wrote in her Spiritual Testament: “Mothers of children, even if they have a thousand, carry each and every one fixed in their hearts, and because of the strength of their love they do not forget any of them. In fact, it seems that the more children they have, the more their love and care for each one is increased.”

She knew that the family is the domestic church, the first school of love for every child, and if she and her religious sisters could foster the faith and intellect of young girls, that would produce significant positive flow-on effects for future generations.

Charity Begins at Home

Angela made a pilgrimage to Rome to gain the indulgences of the Jubilee Year. Pope Clement VII had heard of her virtue, and invited her to expand her work to Rome. However, Angela disliked the limelight, and chose to return to her humble hometown.

Angela taught her religious sisters to serve God while remaining in the world, teaching the girls in their own neighbourhoods, meeting regularly for prayer, and practising a form of religious life in their own homes, following a Rule of Life emphasising celibacy, poverty and obedience. Pope Paul III approved her Rule in 1544.

 

Incorruptible Saint

When Angela died in Brescia on 27 January 1540, there were 24 communities of the Company of St Ursula serving throughout the region. Her body was clothed in the habit of a Franciscan tertiary and was interred in the Church of Sant’Afra, where Angela had spent many hours praying at the tombs of the Brescian martyrs. Her body remained there until the church was destroyed by bombs in World War II. Angela’s incorrupt remains survived the bombing, and are still available for veneration in Brescia.

 

Woman of Faith

St Angela Merici’s life is a testament to the good which can flourish when a single person assents to God’s calling, becoming a flame which lights other candles, causing a cascade of love throughout space and time. Today, the Secular Institute of Saint Angela Merici or the Angelines are present in 23 countries throughout the world, including Singapore.

How is God calling you to serve today? Are there ways in which you can display God’s love to those in your neighbourhood, as St Angela did?

 

Do not lose heart, even if you should discover that you lack qualities necessary for the work to which you are called. He who called you will not desert you, but the moment you are in need, He will stretch out His saving hand.

– St Angela Merici

11 January 2022

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Tags: Educators, Parents, Students

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Categories: Reflections

With the commencement of the new school year, various school leaders have been reassigned to new posts. After eight years of service as principal of CHIJ Katong Convent, Ms Patricia Chan has taken on a new posting, moving to the Ministry of Education (MOE) as Director of English Language and Literature in the Curriculum Planning and Development Division (CPDD).

 

Sweet Memories

Reflecting on her time in the CHIJ family, Ms Chan shares that her favourite memory is of Book and Music Week (BMW), a well-loved school tradition dating back more than fifty years. She explains: “It is a time where the formal confines of the classroom make way for spontaneous and experiential learning through the love of music, the written word and the arts.”

The spunky principal has aimed to do something memorable for her students in commencing the festivities each year. “In my first year, I dressed up as William Shakespeare and delivered my opening in iambic pentameter, while for the SG50 celebration in 2015 I performed a soliloquy as a Samsui Woman to celebrate the pioneers of Singapore,” Ms Chan reminisces. “Last year, I donned the IJ uniform to mark my coming of a full circle as a student and a principal, to drive home the message of time and space.”


(Photo: CHIJ Katong Convent Facebook)

 

Recalling a more challenging task, Ms Chan says: “Moving the school to a holding site for two years, overseeing the re-building of the school and moving the school back to Marine Terrace to its newly renovated and refurbished campus was also quite an experience. Embracing all the technicalities of construction, engineering and design was not without its difficulties – I was a fish out of water – but keeping sight of the core focus that we are building a conducive environment for work, play and study made the process exciting.”

 

Trust in God

Ms Chan ponders how her Catholic faith has guided her through her career: “As a person of faith, I know that God has a plan for everything. His ways are not our ways, and He always makes things good in His time.”

Recognising the hand of Divine Providence throughout her life, Ms Chan states: “I have learnt not to seek answers or solutions readily when things don’t turn out right; over time, I know the Lord will provide, I just need to have the faith and trust in Him.”

“More often than not,” she adds, “The answers or a way out is frequently through words and actions of others, or a change in the course of events, or sometimes, an inspiration of a brainwave which comes during unexpected periods.”

Turning to Scripture, Ms Chan reveals how the Word of God has sustained her: “My favourite quote from Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, has given me the strength to embrace the unknowns or the seemingly dire situations.”

 

Hope for the Future

Ms Chan expresses her hopes for the future of CHIJ Katong Convent, that it may “grow from strength to strength as a Catholic IJ school.”

“Specifically,” she adds, “For the staff – that they continue to grow in spirit, mind and skills for themselves and the charges they care for, and for the girls – that the school develops in them the strength of character to lead with care, to learn with passion, and to live with purpose as contributing members of society.”


Ms Patricia Chan donned the IJ uniform at the opening of her final Book and Music Week as the principal of CHIJ Katong Convent and reflected on how an IJ school inspired by the spirituality of Nicolas Barré set them up for life. (Photo: CHIJ Katong Convent Instagram)

 

A New Leader

Considering her successor, Mdm Hilda Tan Hwee Tsian – who has been rotated from Meridian Secondary School – Ms Chan says: “CHIJ Katong Convent is blessed to receive another IJ alumnus as her new principal. As IJ alumnus, Mrs Hilda Tan already has a shared experience and a common identity she can tap in charting the next directions of the school.”

Ms Chan continues: “The appreciation (Mdm Tan) has of the school’s history and heritage enables her to write the present in order to chart the growth of the school for future generations. She will have a good starting point.”

 

A Great Responsibility

Contemplating how her time as a Catholic school principal has formed her as a person, Ms Chan shares: “The oft-said statement that with authority comes responsibility, couldn’t have resonated more.  As a Catholic leading a Catholic school, I take it as a personal accountability to uphold the Catholic ethos and identity of the school.”

Drawing upon a Biblical theme, Ms Chan continues: “I pretty much likened it to the parable of the talents, where I am privileged to be leading a Catholic school and therefore much is to be expected of me.  Leadership has forced me out of my comfort zone in making my own faith journey more visible.”

Referring to the founder of the Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus schools, she affirms: “Understanding the charism of Blessed Nicolas Barré has also led me to grow in faith and spirituality in the way I lead the school and interact with my students and staff. This mindfulness has helped me calibrate how I need to think and act, especially with others.”

She concludes, “Being Principal of a Catholic school has given me the lens to consider how I might create an encounter with Christ for the people with whom I interact. This is a gift which I will continue to treasure and take to wherever I am.”

4 January 2022

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Tags: Parents

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Categories: Resources

Youth, in general, lead challenging lives full of commitments and fast-paced activities. Because of these, there seems to them very little time for self-care. However, it is important to balance out the stressors in their lives. This is where family support is essential.

Parents play a vital role in helping their youth to better structure their lives. It is important for parents to understand their children’s mental health and to identify their emotional needs.

Depression and anxiety are the two most common mental health conditions among youth. According to the Singapore Mental Health Study conducted in 2016, 1 in 16 Singaporeans experience Major Depressive Disorder in their lifetime and 1.6% experience Generalised Anxiety Disorder.

As parents, it is crucial to take note of certain signs and symptoms to watch for in our children and obtain timely help. Mental health conditions are considered medical conditions, and do not simply fade away by themselves, if left untreated.

 


Depression

Depression as a mental condition is a vastly different emotional challenge to just getting depressed. One can get depressed over a situation or somebody’s actions for a short period of time. In contrast, depression is a serious medical condition that can lead to a stage that is life-threatening, if not treated promptly and successfully.

 

Symptoms of Depression

Common symptoms of depression include sleep disturbance, changes in appetite, low moods, problems with concentration, a loss of interest in one’s usual activities, and feelings of worthlessness. Suicidal thoughts are present in some cases. The symptoms are persistent and last at least two weeks.

 

Types of Depression

There are three main types of depression:

  1. Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), in which symptoms last for at least two weeks.
  2. Dysthymia, in which symptoms last for at least two years.
  3. Bipolar Disorder, in which there are alternating moods with symptoms of mania and Major Depressive Disorder.

 

 


Anxiety

Suffering anxiety is very different to simply being anxious. Temporary anxiety due to a danger or unpleasant experience is a normal emotion that anyone can experience – this helps us avoid danger. However, anxiety disorder is a prolonged medical condition that needs medical treatment. Early diagnosis helps avoid the development of a chronic condition.

 

Symptoms of Anxiety

There are four areas to consider when identifying symptoms of anxiety disorders. Firstly, there are physical signs, such as increased heart rate, shortness of breath, muscle tension and dizziness. Secondly, there are emotional flags, including excessive worry, feeling on edge or panicky, and a sense of helplessness. Thirdly, there are mental symptoms, like negative thoughts and difficulty focusing. Finally, there may be behavioural changes – avoidance of people, tasks or situations, and experiencing troubles with sleep.

This list is not exhaustive, and each person experiences anxiety differently. However, if your child experiences persistent, excessive, and irrational anxiety, it is best to seek medical advice, as well as treatment if necessary.

 

Types of Anxiety Disorders

There are six types of anxiety disorders:

  1. Generalised anxiety disorder, which comes with constant worry and fear.
  2. A specific phobia, having excessive fear of a particular object or situation.
  3. Social anxiety disorder, with intense fear of being criticised or embarrassed in public.
  4. Panic disorder, with recurring panic attacks.
  5. Obsessive compulsive disorder, with unwanted intrusive thoughts.
  6. Post-traumatic stress disorder, experiencing overwhelming stress from a traumatic event.

 

Various factors can cause depression or anxiety disorders; often, it is a combination of reasons. There are biological and psychological risk factors. Genetic factors include an imbalance in brain chemistry or hormones, while psychological factors could be stress, childhood experiences, the individual’s personality, or addictions.

That said, family plays a vital role in helping youth to face challenges successfully and to alleviate the adverse effects of stress and anxiety.

 


What can you do?

Parents who are attentive in daily interactions with their children are often the first to recognise behavioural changes. It is important that when parents observe the abovementioned symptoms, they reach out to their children.

Good listening skills will foster a close relationship with your children, letting them know that you are non-judgemental and understanding. With this approach, children will be more likely to open up to you.

 

 

Reaching out to your teenage children can be a daunting task, especially if they are unwilling to speak to you. Hence, providing a safe space for your children to speak is crucial. If they are not comfortable, a third party – such as a close mature family member, a mentor, or a mental health professional – can be helpful.

Parents should spend quality time with their children. Acknowledging their feelings is important in building rapport and demonstrating empathy, allowing youth to feel safe in sharing their emotions and identifying what triggers these feelings.

When approaching your children for a conversation, look for a relaxed space, maintain eye contact, and show concern and interest towards their wellbeing. Asking them open-ended questions such as “how was your day?” can encourage elaboration, compared to close-ended yes or no questions. In this way, parents can help children to gain a deeper understanding of their own concerns. Parents can paraphrase and summarise to show attentiveness and ensure they are truly understanding their children.

When speaking with their children, parents need to stay calm, be supportive and provide positive feedback to avoid invalidating statements. Your teenagers may share something that you might disagree with, but try to withhold judgement and avoid asking too many questions, lest it be overwhelming for your children and they start to close off. If you observe or hear suicidal thoughts, express your concern, share what you observe, encourage support and offer help if needed.

It is common for parents to experience sadness, fear and worry in response to a young person’s mental issues. Parents need to take care of themselves and create their own support network. Local mental health resources include services offered by family doctors, polyclinics, Family Service Centres, school counsellors, private and social service organisations.

 

This article was contributed by Clarity Singapore, and is written by Sanjeevi Fernando.

16 December 2021

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Tags: Educators, Parents, Students

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Categories: Homilies / Messages, Reflections

Happy New Liturgical Year! Advent marks a new year in the Catholic Church. This is an important time of spiritual preparation for Christmas. Just as we prepare for the glorious joy of Easter with Lenten fasting and penance, so do we prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ with the quiet contemplation of Advent.

“Advent” is derived from the Latin ad venio, “to come”. This liturgical season anticipates the Adventus Domini, the coming of the Lord. The sublime secret is that Christ is already here: He has been present in Mary’s womb since the Annunciation on 25 March.

Pope Benedict XVI taught us in his book Dogma and Preaching:

“Advent” does not mean “expectation,” as some may think. It is a translation of the Greek word parousia which means “presence” or, more accurately, “arrival,”, i.e., the beginning of a presence. In antiquity the word was a technical term for the presence of a king or ruler and also for the god being worshipped, who bestows his parousia on his devotees for a time.“Advent,” then, means a presence begun, the presence being that of God. Advent reminds us, therefore, of two things: first, that God’s presence in the world has already begun, that He is present though in a hidden manner; second, that His presence has only begun and is not yet full and complete, that it is in a state of development, of becoming and progressing toward its full form.

His presence has already begun, and we, the faithful, are the ones through whom He wishes to be present in the world. Through our faith, hope, and love He wants his light to shine over and over again in the night of the world.

That night is “today” whenever the “Word” becomes “flesh” or genuine human reality. The Christ child comes in a real sense whenever human beings act out of authentic love for the Lord.

 

Advent is also a time in which we call to mind Christ’s Second Coming and prepare our hearts to receive Him at the end of days. We look forward to the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come, with the restoration of all creation ending our exile in this vale of tears. Various Advent traditions include the Jesse tree, which traces salvation history through Jesus’ genealogy; the Advent calendar, with a surprise for each day we count down to Christmas; and the Advent wreath, with candles representing Hope, Peace, Joy and Love. Does your family practise any of these traditions? They can be both a fun and prayerful way to anticipate the magnificent celebration of Christ’s birth.

A beautiful Advent prayer is the St Andrew Christmas Novena, which encapsulates a deep longing for God’s arrival in the dark night of a world in need of a Saviour, a world hungering for Love. This Advent, let us be open to God’s quiet presence amidst the hustle and bustle of life, making room for Him to be born in our hearts so that we may bear Him to every person we meet, irradiating their lives with joy.

 

St Andrew Christmas Novena

Hail, and blessed be the hour and moment
at which the Son of God was born of a most pure Virgin
at a stable at midnight in Bethlehem in the piercing cold.
At that hour vouchsafe, I beseech Thee,
to hear my prayers and grant my desires.
(Mention your intentions here)
Through Jesus Christ and His most Blessed Mother. Amen.

22 October 2021

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Tags: Educators, Parents, Students

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Categories: Reflections, Saints

For many who graduate from school, what endures beyond the grades and accolades is friendship. True friends share in each other’s joys and support one another through challenging times; they help each other grow in virtue, knowledge and maturity. St John Bosco, an educator of street urchins and founder of the Salesians, counselled:

“Fly from bad companions as from the bite of a poisonous snake. If you keep good companions, I can assure you that you will one day rejoice with the blessed in Heaven; whereas if you keep with those who are bad, you will become bad yourself, and you will be in danger of losing your soul.”

 

Pope John Paul II, born Karol Józef Wojtyła – whose feast is on 22 October, the day of his papal inauguration – knew the importance of friendship as a young man. The German Nazis and Russian communists invaded Poland during his university days in 1939; the university was shut down and he was forced to work as a manual labourer, quarrying limestone. During that time, he met Jan Tyranowski, assigned by a Salesian priest as a student mentor. Jan introduced Karol to the Living Rosary youth groups, which continued to meet throughout World War II, keeping the faith while their priests were imprisoned.

Karol soon discerned a vocation to the priesthood, and Jan managed to attend his ordination on 1 November 1946 before dying of tuberculosis. As a young priest, Fr Wojtyła formed youth groups as his friend Jan had. These young men and women went hiking, attended retreats, and put on plays, despite being in a war zone. In these groups, the youth found freedom which was denied them by the oppressive regime which had seized control of all institutions, including schools. Through the apostolate of friendship, they were able to cultivate human flourishing in the midst of violent turmoil, helping one another grow holistically.

 


A young John Paul on a hiking trip. Source: voiceofthesouthwest.org

 

The word “friend” comes from a Proto-Indo-European word meaning “to love”. Pope John Paul II wrote in his book Love and Responsibility:

 

“Friendship, as has been said, consists in a full commitment of the will to another person with a view to that person’s good.”

 

This echoes St Thomas Aquinas, who said, “Love is to will the good of another.”

In fact, what Jan and Fr Wojtyła did reflected what Jesus Himself did during His earthly mission. He gathered a group of friends around Him (John 15:15), teaching them about God the Father through His words and actions. These friends of Christ spread the Word of God throughout the world, inviting each of us today to join them in becoming friends of God. The most effective evangelisation is based on a solid foundation of friendship, where one receives the love of God through a friend. How can you share God’s love with your friends today?

21 October 2021

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Tags: Educators, Parents, Students

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Categories: Events, Saints

This evening, the Infant Jesus Sisters invite everyone to join in the celebration of Holy Mass commemorating the 400th anniversary of the birth of Blessed Nicolas Barré, the founder of their order. Mass will be live-streamed online on YouTube, celebrated by Fr Derrick Yap, OFM.

Today’s feast concludes the jubilee year of the fourth centenary of his birth, a celebration which began last October 21. Nicolas was born the eldest of five children to Antoinette and Louis Barré on 21 October 1621 in Amiens, France. He was their only son; they probably expected him to take over the family business.

However, educated by Jesuits from the age of ten, Nicolas witnessed their prayerful life integrated with charitable action; the Jesuits provided free lodging for poor students. The Jesuits were a missionary order sending priests all over the world to share the Gospel. Nicolas was inspired to be a priest.

 

Serving the Poor

Instead of joining the Jesuits, he decided to become a Minim, living among the poorest people in town and serving them throughout the epidemics, famines and wars of mid-seventeenth century France. Their motto, Caritas, later influenced the spirituality of the “Charitable Teachers” assembled by Fr Barré: the Infant Jesus Sisters.

Fr Barré was a noted philosophy and theology lecturer, as well as director of the library at the Minim convent of Place Royale, Paris, France. He witnessed the terrible poverty of the people of Paris. During a period of illness, he prayed and reflected that many social ills were the result of youth lacking education, and hence a sense of purpose and direction in life. Fr Barré decided to invite two young women, twenty-year-old Marguerite Lestocq and eighteen-year-old Françoise Duval, to help teach impoverished girls. Three other ladies soon joined the work, known as “Little Charitable Schools”.

 

Growth of the Mission

After four years of running these small schools, Fr Barré invited the teachers to live as a religious community under the care of Divine Providence: the Charitable Mistresses of the Schools of the Holy Infant Jesus.

He wrote: “We should live in a state of complete dependence on grace, and however great the gifts and effects it produces, we should always focus on God Who is its source. As to our good deeds, we should remember that it is God Who deigns to act through us.”

Summoned back to Paris by the Minims, Fr Barré discovered that news of his schools had spread, and a wealthy woman, Marie de Lorraine, invited him to open more with her financial help. Together, they founded ten schools and a small hospital.

In time, the Infant Jesus Sisters became an institute of pontifical right with communities in five continents, educating children throughout the world. Fr Barré was consulted by St John Baptist de la Salle, who founded the Institute of the Brothers of the Christian Schools to educate boys.

 

Arrival in Singapore

When founding the LaSallian St Joseph’s Institution in Singapore, Fr Jean-Marie Beurel wrote to the Infant Jesus Sisters in France, asking them to send missionaries to start a girls’ school. The sisters arrived in 1854 after an arduous journey by ship, and founded both a school and an orphanage for babies abandoned at their “Gate of Hope”.

The sisters trusted in God’s providence, teaching by day and supporting themselves as embroiderers by night. Their mission expanded to Japan in 1872 and Thailand in 1885. In Malaya and Singapore, they established 83 schools. Today, there are eleven Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus (CHIJ) schools in Singapore.

The CHIJ badge, designed by French students in 1894, bears the motto Simple Dans Ma Vertu, Forte Dans Mon Devoir: Simple in My Virtue, Steadfast in My Duty. It is a reminder to persevere in one’s responsibilities despite all challenges.

An IJ education forms students holistically, building their characters for the lifelong love and service of God and others. As the hymn to Father Barré says: “Touch many hearts to follow in your footsteps/To dedicate their lives to youth and poor/… to make Christ known and loved.”

At Blessed Nicolas Barré’s beatification in Rome, on 7 March 1999, Pope John Paul II said: “Nicolas Barré tirelessly sought to lead both the people he directed and the charitable teachers to the prayer of the heart, inspired by contemplation of the inexpressible mystery of God Who out of love became a human being and even a little child.”

Today, we celebrate his legacy of faith and love which has formed so many young Singaporean women throughout the generations. Join the IJ community in praying the Mass at 8pm on YouTube.

8 October 2021

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Tags: Educators, Parents, Students

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Categories: Homilies / Messages, Reflections

In school, teachers often repeat learning points so that they will sink into our heads and hopefully surface when required. As we study at home, we memorise and exercise knowledge through repetition. This also applies to muscle memory, as exemplified in the 1984 movie The Karate Kid. Musicians, dancers and athletes train for hours, going through the same motions over and over again, until they perfect their performances. Acquiring basic life skills like cooking, riding a bicycle or driving a car also entails repetition, until the actions and knowledge involved become second nature.

The same principle applies in the spiritual life. In Jewish custom, ancient prayers like the Psalms are recited every day. Catholic monks and nuns continued this tradition through reciting the Divine Office eight times a day, praying all 150 Psalms every week in the Middle Ages. As laypeople were mostly illiterate and could not learn the psalms, they began to pray 150 Hail Mary‘s in honour of the Incarnation (based on Luke 1:28 and Luke 1:42), interspersed with the Our Father and Glory Be to the Holy Trinity. These are said while contemplating the principle events in the lives of Jesus and Mary. The Rosary is a thoroughly scriptural prayer.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus cautioned us not to pray “vain repetitions as the Gentiles do” (Matthew 6:7). He was an observant Jew and would certainly have memorised the Psalms through many days of prayer; indeed, He quotes them while dying on the cross. In this Gospel, He was warning His disciples against the superstitious ways of the pagans, whose idea of prayer and sacrifice was simply to appease their capricious gods by saying the “right” words, regardless of their inner dispositions.

 

Jesus goes on to teach His disciples to repeat His personal prayer, which we know as the Our Father or the Lord’s Prayer. In this prayer, we address God intimately, identifying ourselves as His children. The Our Father contains the four cardinal points of prayer: adoration, supplication, repentance and thanksgiving. By reciting this prayer with sincerity, we learn how to speak with God the Father as Jesus does; we are drawn into the divine life of the Holy Trinity. This simple prayer is so rich that the early Church Father Origen wrote a whole treatise on it.

Archbishop Fulton Sheen reflected on the Rosary:

‘The beautiful truth is that there is no repetition in, “I love you.” Because there is a new moment of time, another point in space, the words do not mean the same as they did at another time or space.

Love is never monotonous in the uniformity of its expression. The mind is infinitely variable in its language, but the heart is not. The heart of a man, in the face of the woman he loves, is too poor to translate the infinity of his affection into a different word. So the heart takes one expression, “I love you,” and in saying it over and over again, it never repeats. It is the only real news in the universe. That is what we do when we say the Rosary, we are saying to God, the Trinity, to the Incarnate Saviour, to the Blessed Mother: “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Each time it means something different because, at each decade, our mind is moving to a new demonstration of the Saviour’s love.’

This month of October is the Month of the Holy Rosary. Even if you cannot commit to five decades a day – which takes about fifteen to twenty minutes – try meditating on one decade a day, perhaps while travelling to school. St Louis de Monfort suggested: “In each mystery, after the word Jesus, add a word to recall and honour the particular mystery. For example: Jesus incarnateJesus sanctifying, etc. as it is indicated at each decade.”

As St Josemaría Escrivá said: “Blessed be that monotony of Hail Mary’s which purifies the monotony of your sins!” The Dominican friar Lacordaire observed: “For Christians, the first of books is the Gospel and the Rosary is actually the abridgement of the Gospel.” Deepen your relationship with God and His mother with this timeless prayer.